Circling Back and Inward

Our lives circle endlessly.

The Tulip Staircase, Queen's House

We tell ourselves that our lives progress, we grow, we “move on” from who we were. We tell ourselves we’re not the same person we were as a teenager, when we got married, before we had kids.

Fallacy. Our lives spiral in a disorderly fashion.

I went to college at 18. I made it to the end, then flunked my last class. I said “fuck it” and walked away.

Three years ago I had a child, and a few months later realized what I want to be when I grow up. Although my school requirements had ballooned from requiring one class to graduate to 30 credits, I took on student loans and did what it took.

Now I am on my last class again. I am tired. I am sick of school, a child, a husband, a job, selling a house. But this part of my life spiraled back and now I will follow the energy of the spiral, taking it through to the end, rather than twisting the current in another direction.

Spiritually I am spiraling back into familiar territory. I am returning to the simple Goddess practices I worked many years ago. I am seeking to continue some of this learning, take it farther, follow the energy.

I can draw on my experience and fix the lines in my foundations, smoothing things over.